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What is it with you guys?

Posted: Tue May 16, 2017 5:07 pm
by Dotster1
You appear to soldier on no matter what this disease throws at you. Even now 4 years post diagnosis I have a husband that will not admit he is having problems either to me or the healthcare professionals. I have just completely called his bluff and proved to him that I know he is not well and he has finally admitted it (I told you so, did pass my lips).
Is it that the care you are receiving from the NHS is so uncaring or so poor that you feel that there is no point telling them? I have to say the service my hubby has been receiving from the IBD nurses locally at best is poor at worst is outright neglectful and possibly dangerous. As a member of the NHS staff I am embarrassed by the treatment he has received.
anyway here I stand side by side with my husband, watching the pain, watching the suffering, knowing he is not well, worried sick and so bloody helpless, if I wasn't such a tenacious what not we wouldn't have got the results we just have which is he has flare, a potentially serious infection and an appointment for an urgent sigmoidoscopy on Monday because the IBD nurses finally talked to the Consultant.
I know there will be partners that are not interested but to those that are please talk, watching you hurt, worry, struggle through another flare, another round of treatment, endless trips to the bathroom and generally feeling rubbish hurts us too. This is our disease, this affects us, you cut my husband I bleed and right now Im hurting and worrying to, its even harder as a nurse because I feel so helpless when I should be able to do something, im born to try and make things better.
I sincerely hope that you all receive a much better standard of care, just remember there is often someone hurting and watching you hurt and feeling helpless, tell us about it, we cant cure it but I am sure a hug helps
big hugs to you all

Re: What is it with you guys?

Posted: Thu May 18, 2017 7:43 am
by rogalin47
Hi Dotster
Your hubby is a lucky guy to have you by his side, your love and support will make all the difference to his mental and physical health.

I think those of us with chronic illnesses do soldier on the way we do because for us feeling crap becomes the norm, plus we dont want to be moaning and groaning about how awful we feel day in day out because that doesnt help anybody. Im lucky because my hubby has supported me every step of the way through my UC 'journey' he didnt have to say or do a lot when I was horribly ill it was enough to know he still loved me and had my back even when my life was lived from toilet visit to toilet visit. We dont say it enough simply because UC totally takes over our lives during a flare but the love and support we receive from our friends and family means the world to us.

I hope your hubby starts to feel better very soon, tell him from me hes a lucky guy to have you

Big hugs to the both of you
:love: :love: :love: :love:

Re: What is it with you guys?

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 9:50 am
by Dotster1
Thank you, I did finally get him to admit that he really has struggled but he also gave me a little insight and said he does not want to admit to himself that he cant do something, he sees it as a sign of weakness and is a stubborn goat, but we had a little chat and ive explained its ok for him to admit to me things are tough, im not judging him I love him unconditionally xx

Re: What is it with you guys?

Posted: Mon May 22, 2017 2:07 pm
by philayl63
Hi Dotster, of course us men being men nothing will stop us going out and clubbing the dinosaur to death to bring home the dinner! Even sitting in front of the consultant listening to him prattling on we wonder to ourselves "who is this idiot talking about, it can't be me!" Luckily us men only have this one flaw (leaving open to discussion?) that we look at ourselves through rose tinted glasses, unfortunately mine have a lens missing and I only half see myself as this perfect specimen. In spite of this after nearly 50 years of marriage my wife says she will keep me now warts and all, although now it's mostly warts! Phil